In the group meetings, just enough space is given for you to talk and talk and talk. It's in these times that I surprise myself with what's really going on between my ears. I was talking about how now that the formal discernment process is drawing to a close I feel completely at peace with whatever decision is made, whether:yes priest or no priest. I really mean this.
In the middle of all this I said,"My main concern is not whether I become a priest or not it's whether I stay with God." The priest who leads us said, "And where is God going?" My answer, it felt sort of zen, because I wasn't really thinking and hadn't had this thought before; I said,"God is going nowhere, it's me who is flitting around all the time,always trying to become something else, exploit whatever is in front of me." Becoming is a damn trap, a rut.