Friday, September 28, 2007

On becoming...

In the group meetings, just enough space is given for you to talk and talk and talk. It's in these times that I surprise myself with what's really going on between my ears. I was talking about how now that the formal discernment process is drawing to a close I feel completely at peace with whatever decision is made, whether:yes priest or no priest. I really mean this.

In the middle of all this I said,"My main concern is not whether I become a priest or not it's whether I stay with God." The priest who leads us said, "And where is God going?" My answer, it felt sort of zen, because I wasn't really thinking and hadn't had this thought before; I said,"God is going nowhere, it's me who is flitting around all the time,always trying to become something else, exploit whatever is in front of me." Becoming is a damn trap, a rut.

1 comment:

Coop said...

maybe God is going nowhere...but we could also look at it another way, in terms of Emmanuel and God being with us. even in our flitting about and frail attempts at becoming other than what we are--there is God calling us to authenticity, yet allowing us to be carried away by the monkey brain. there is absolute liberty to poke holes in every direction, or to rest--God seems to be present in the straying and the resting.